Stop Doing This Common Goal Setting Mistake
Don't you wish there was a class on life that taught us everything we’re supposed to know as successful adults? Like, how to invest in a Roth IRA, file taxes, get fit quickly, or keep the house clean for more than a day? I may not have the answer to those questions but I DID figure out how successful and extraordinary people become that way. In fact, you already know it too. You've just been doing it backwards.
The concept is called 'Be Do Have'
See, when most of us start working towards a new goal, we see if we have what it takes. A.k.a time, money, support, knowledge, skills, etc. Then, we decide to do things that will make our goal a reality, which can look like forming new habits, cutting out bad things, and streamlining our routines. And finally, once we have started doing the things that should lead us to reaching our goals, we expect to be someone who has successfully completed the goal. Let me show you this concept with an example.
Goal: Lose 10 lbs
Have
Time to workout
Money for a gym membership, online program, meal prep, etc.
Friend and Family support so no one tempts you with unhealthy foods
Do
Get up earlier to workout
Restrict self from eating fast food
Only eat meal prepped foods and drink water
Be
A person who has lost 10 lbs
This seems like this system should work, and, temporarily, it can. But let me tell you what actually happens when you try to accomplish something with this common method. You'll probably start off strong. But if you suddenly don't have time to work out one day or forgot your meal prep at home, you'll quickly skip the gym and be eating McDonald's in the parking (this example is totally NOT from personal experience). If you want real, long-lasting success, you have to reverse the system and start with who you are being.
Let's continue with the same example of losing 10 lbs. Before the person ever signs up for their first Pilates class, they need to ask themselves what the personality traits are of someone who has already lost 10 lbs.
Most people would agree that fit people are consistent, disciplined, resilient, and self-motivated with their health routines. So, if that is your goal, you will first need to practice those traits. And you practice those traits by the things you do.
Practice being disciplined by going to the gym 3 days a week no matter what.
Practice self-motivation by setting milestones to encourage momentum.
Practice resilience by staying on track with your plan even if you're discouraged because you didn't lose any weight this week.
You get the idea.
Then, after being someone who thinks like a person who has lost 10 lbs, and doing things that will lead to losing 10 lbs, you can finally have the result of losing 10 lbs. Altogether, this is what it would look like.
Goal: Lose 10 lbs
Be: Someone who is…
Consistent
Disciplined
Resilient
Self-motivated
Do:
Go to the gym 3 days/ week
Give myself a mini prize every time I lose 2 lbs
Eat foods the nourish my body with the best foods
Have:
The result of losing 10 lbs
This is what all the motivational speakers mean when they say you don't have to be the smartest, richest, most talented or popular to live out your dreams. You don't need any of it. Zero. Zip. Nada.
Do you think Thomas Edison knew what it took to create electricity? No. But he did have the personality traits of someone who could: Curiosity, Resilience, Determination. Or should Rachel Hollis have become a best selling author with no college education and very little money? Again, no! But she cultivated the traits of someone who could: Patience, Resourcefulness, Commitment.
What I'm trying to say is, you don't need to have it all together yet. The foolproof plan, enough funds, more time. All you have to do is start with what you have, which is you. Start being and acting like a person who has already accomplished what you want and I promise the rest will follow. As one of my favorite quotes says, "Be and the do will follow."
